Yes another campaign of D+D (Dorks and Dr.Pepper) has begun and I've desided to let you, the masses (three people count as a mass), share in the hilariously epic adventure.
First let us introduce you to the characters of our tale; Alec Strongbow, a werewolf fighter who used to be a lawyer and look like wolverine from x-men, but now looks like Jesus. I'm sure from the mention of werewolf you've already deduced that this is Leigh's character, well you wrong! Ha! Naw I'm just joking its Leigh's character.
Rockster stone, an Earthsoul Genasai. Yeah Giles downloaded some new books that included a new race and new class; Sword Mage and being the adventurous person that I am I took both! And then let Leigh draw what I looked like. He drew The Thing from the Fantastic Four. However now that I've looked up what a Genasai is supposed to be the thing is pretty much a good representation. Basically its a human infused with elemental power and as such takes on some characteristics of that element. Myself being earth means that being made of rock would be accurate. Being a sword mage I seem to just set people on fire. Its awsome!
Glady's the Paladin dwarf. As Cooper and Marc'll remember Giles friend Dave made a paladin dwarf during the summer which Lew took over. Well he's made another one but this time its female, younger but with a longer beard. Though Dave in his infinate wisdom had taught me soemthing of great important; while epic boobs and epic beards are truely epic individually someone who has both is not good. Really not good, especially when drawn with a bikini top and thong. The biggest problem is Gladys has 18 charisma and is the best looking one out of us all. Good God help us.
Mr Sneeze from the Mr Men. I actually can't remember the name of Simons character but the portrait looked like Mr. Sneeze of the Mr Men. Just with a beard. Mr. Sneeze from the Mr. Men is a warlord and as such the leader of our group. This doesn't go well and ends pretty early on in the campaign.
Something the grey, thats a witty take of Gandolf the gay. Tim was given the party's rich wizard with the great spells of make things cold, make things colder and makes things sleepy or slow. You might think I'm mocking but so far he's been quite handy. Mainly in making sure me and Leigh don't do something stupid the first time were given a decision to make. God bless you Tim.
And thats our crew! A fighter, Paladin, Warlord, Sword Mage and Wizard. Pretty balanced team I'd say. Though we have no healer but I can't actually remember a time when we've played D+D and someones actually chosen a character who's main role is to heal. Though we do have a paladin who has some healing powers so I'm sure we'll be fine, that is if we hadn't already played.
Whatever you might think of Giles after the summers D+Dage I consider him to be a pretty good DM and I think he's shown that again with the start of our new campaign throwing us into a dwarf mine thats been over thrown by orcs and we've been told to take it back. The reason why this was a good idea is because were basically a group of strangers. Sure me and Leigh have had a mutual disgust of each other for a good 8 years but I'd only met Dave and Simon once or twice, and while their nice guys I don't know them. Now Leigh didn't know anyone and I didn't know Tim so trying to open a D+D campaign with role playing would have been awkward at best. The way Giles has done it means we can get aquinted with each other and as such making the role playing less painful, especially seeing this is Simon and Tims first time and only Daves second.
So were in a dwarf stronghold (though can't be that strong if its been taken over) taken over by orcs, what do we do first? Kill some orcs. Pretty much the staple of all fantasy adventures, but a nice way to getting new and old roleplayers into a story. This first battle went well I think, even though Simon did charge into battle completely missing his target, but the rest of us fared pretty well. Including myself actually doing good in combat =D. As Cooper and Marc might remember my Rogue was how you say ... ineffectual at many points. But this time I set things on fire and they burn =D.
I think Simon took a bit of damage but not enough to actually matter and we pretty much cleared up the field with a little amount of fuss. Though Glady's did fail to get up a flight of steps and Alec Strongbow managed to convince an archer on a 10 ft ledge to jump off due to being on fire and going to die the next round. Leigh said it was to make his last moments on life better but to be honest I personally think it just added insult to injury. And death. Though between killing the last enemy and waiting for the archer to die a painful humiliating death we decided to see if any of us knew anything about the stronghold we were in. And we did! Kinda. Simon "knew" that the next room was pink with fluffy clouds. Me, Dave and Tim knew something more substantial in the form of knwoing that there was a creature of great power inside. Well it wasn't phraised like that, Giles said it a lot vaguer and forbodding but its so something of great power.
Then came the looting! Which Leigh was quick to remind us of and then only managing to claim some mangy gloves and 3 copper. I got some chainmail boots and 5 silver =D. But quickly after that came decision making and roleplaying. You see the room had two exits; one a corridor, the other a ricketty bridge over a dark seemingly bottomless pit. Me, Leigh and Tim decided to discuss which we thought would be the best route deciding on the nice secure darkened corridor, while Dave and Simon were more proactive and decided to just cross the rope bridge without any thought what so ever. This actually went better for the fat dwarf than the muscular Mr. Sneeze from the Mr. Men who slipped and almost fell to his doom but managed to grab on to the rope bridge.
Once over the bridge Dave and Simon decided to get chatty. Over whether or not to get one of us to cut the bridge so they can climb the down the 10 foot rope bridge and try to get to the bottom of the seemingly bottomless pit. I think you can see a problem with this however Simon did not and proceeded to test Giles's patients who had only made the pit to give us a harder decision than "Right or left" though probably now wishing he hadn't given us a choice at all as he'd hoped we'd take the darkened corridor. Eventually Simon forgot about this idea, Leigh cut the rope bridge and Dave failed to gather the rope bridge up so he'd have some rope incase of an emergancy.
So Rockster Stone, Alec Strongbow and Tim the wizard (isn't that the dude from Monty Python?) broke away from our leader and paladin to form squad awsome and took the dark corridor to find some orcs huddled around a corner. Being squad awsome we first discussed what to do. The verdict being beat them up then when their most vulnerable Leigh'll hulk out and intimidate the leader for info on the place. This went exceedingly well with Leigh also getting some loot from the scared orc. However I did not so next time we play I think flaming death will be bestode upon.
Meanwhile squad going-to-die-a-slow-and-painful-death ventured in the next room to find it not pink nor fluffy. A terrible disappointment engolfed the squad as they fell to their knees screaming in anguish. Not really, though I personally almost did as Gladys used her charm on Mr. Sneeze and claimed control of not only the aquad but also the whole warband! Thankfully being apart of squad awsome we're yet to realise thisebut I'm predicting mutiny in the near future.
Finding the room grey, stoney and empt they ventured to the doorway of the next room, but the room is dark and our entreppid adventurers are pussies so they devised an ingenious plan! Mr. Sneeze would throw a gret axe into the centre of the room where Glady's will use her lowlight vision to see if she could see something in the axe's shiney surface. While Simon was successful with his throw hearing a grunt from inside Dave was less so rolling a 1 so was convinced nothing was inside. Being the now leader she ordered Mr. Sneeze inside to find a room of orcs starring perplexed at a great axe and then looking up to notice the intruders.
And that is where this part of the tail ends. What will Alec, Rockster and Tim find in the dark corridors? Hopefully riches beyond their wildest dream. Will Mr. Sneeze and Glady's survive past the first 5 minutes? Porbably not.
Until next time, keep watching the skies!
(Seriously we had a lot of fun and it'd be awsome to carry on.)
To better illistrait a point I illistraited my point litrally and drew a quick map of our current dungeon I think you'd all love to see:
"DM: there is carving on the wall depicting the face of a demon with an open mouth. The inner mouth is a sperical black surface. No light at all seems to emanate from it.
Player: I put my head into the mouth and try to see if is a passage to the other side of the wall....
DM: your headless body falls on the ground...."
